speeding in a 37
Timeframe: Fall ‘99. Literally a week after The Incident with the Car Door. It’s right about noon, and I’m on my way to school.
An explanation may be necessary here. My school is located on Natural Bridge Rd., which is in beautiful Bel-Ridge. Bel-ridge is unquestionably one of the biggest speed traps in town, so much so that there’s a cop who sits at the control box of a streetlight who changes the light from flashing yellow to red at his whim, so that he can pull people over for running the light.
So, I’m on my way to school. I’ve made it through the light trap noted above, and I’m doing the speed limit (35 mph) for fear of getting a ticket I’m almost at school, and what happens?
Yeah, that’s right. I see lights flashing in my rear view mirror, and I can faintly hear sirens over my car stereo. Shit. So, not wanting a high-speed chase, I pull over.
“can I help you, officer?”
“license and registration, please.”
“oh, okay, hold on.” I fumble through my wallet and give him my license.
“Is there something wrong, officer?” I ask.
“Sir, I’ve pulled you over for speeding.”
“Isn’t the speedlimit on Natural Bridge 35?”
“Yes.”
“Wasn’t I driving 35?”
“Sir, you were driving at 37 miles per hour.”
whiskey. tango. foxtrot. I’m pretty pissed off at this point. Pissed that I was really pulled over for two miles per hour, and pissed that this dickhead is really wasting my time with it. It doesn’t occur to me at the time that this man is an officer of the law, and that he can issue me a speeding ticket which will, once again, significantly increase my car insurance bill. So, what do I say to him?
“You’ve got to be fucking shittin’ me! 37 in a 35???”
Officer hardass just stands there, arms crossed, looking REALLY pissed off. He says, “son, this is NOT a joke.” He stomps over to his car, sits in there for a few minutes on his police radio, and looks like hes writing something out. I’m fucked, right?
Wrong. He comes back to my car, looks at me, and says, “Keep your temper under control from now on. You’re speeding, you’re wrong. I’m letting you off with a warning. You’d best hope that I never pull you over again.”
