Minimally Exceptional

It’s a good thing that I’m getting ready to move out. I’ve about had it with my neighbors.

Don’t get me wrong – these neighbors of mine have been a pretty consistent pain in the ass for a long time now. This isn’t really anything new; rather, it is just the latest chapter in selfishness, person irresponsibility, and ‘fuck-you-what-about-me’.

Politically, we’ve never been on the same side of the fence. They are tried and true bible beaters, with a 100% track record of ‘voting with God.’ So not only are they assholes, but they’re also political sheep, and they think that everything they do is ‘in the hands of God.’ Spare me.

These folks don’t exactly have the best track record with pets. There are no fences at the edge of their property (except for our fence, which might I add, they have bent and beat to hell over the years.) They have had a couple of dogs since we’ve lived next to them, and currently have two. One is a greyhound mix with a little bit of something else, but I’m not exactly sure what. The other is a stray mutt chihuahua that they found and adopted. Neither dog is particularly well trained or obedient, but nothing a little training won’t fix. They both have the potential to be great pet dogs. More frustrating than the dogs they won’t train are the cats. They ‘own’ two cats, neither of which lives in the house. Both cats roam the neighborhood at their leisure, crapping wherever they want and killing whatever critters they find. Cats are not outdoor pets. If you don’t want your cat to live in the house, don’t get a cat. One of the cats, however, is really friendly. I call him Jimbo, and I have every intention of stealing him once we move. Jimbo is actually a girl, but whatever.

Anyhow. Recently, the dogs they can’t control (much like the kids they can’t control) caused an accident and knocked a guy off of his bicycle. Naturally, the guy is suing them for something or other (because that’s what we do in america – we sue people for stupid shit rather than taking personal responsibility for our problems.)

So one of the conditions of settling the lawsuit: Either get rid of the dogs, or put up a fence.

Given that the standard MO here is “fuck-you-what-about-me,” naturally the dogs (which you have to be RESPONSIBLE to take care of) are going to go, because – wait for it – ‘we don’t really want to put up a fence.’

So now the dogs are going to go to the pound where, chances are, they will be put down.

We put down huge numbers of dogs on a daily basis because we can’t find homes for them and animal shelters are full. So what would Jesus do? Jesus would put dogs to sleep that have a home because Jesus doesn’t fucking want a fence.

You should be required to take and pass a test of proving your competence and accountability before you are allowed to be responsible for the well being of another living thing. Dogs, gerbils, fish, children, whatever – you can’t pass the test? Not yours.