Minimally Exceptional

so back to my weird identity-related week.

saturday night, about nine thirty, the phone rings. it’s my phone line, the one that is never used for anything official. laura answers it and hands it to me, saying that it’s a courtesy call.

i pick up, and ‘ms. lebowski’ on the other end starts talking to me about a car loan.

l: yes, this is ms. lebowski from the car dealership, i’m calling because our records show that you owe over two thousand dollars on a car you bought from us.

b: excuse me? who are you with?

l: this is ms. lebowski from the car dealership. you owe us for a car you bought.

b: i don’t owe you any money, i didn’t buy a car from you.

l: is this brian jenkins at (address)?

b: yes, but i didn’t buy a car from you.

l: what kind of car do you drive?

b: why do you need to know that?

l: because our books show that you bought a car from us and owe us money.

b: what car dealership are you with again?

l: i’m with auto tire car dealership.

b: look, i’ve only bought one car my entire life and it wasn’t from you. the car isn’t even in my name.

l: how do you know that?

b: what do you mean, ‘how do i know that?’ what kind of stupid question is that? i know that because i’ve only purchased one car my entire life and the car is not in my name.

l: yes, but our books show that…

b: look, i don’t give a rats ass what your books show, i didn’t buy a car from you and i don’t owe you any money. you could have looked up my name in the phonebook for all i know. you’ve got the wrong guy.

l: yes, but…

b: NO. i don’t even know who you are and you’re–

l: i see you’re not in the best mood right now, i’ll try to call again tomorrow.

weird, huh? two creepy identity things in one week.

needless to say, later that night i went and pulled free copies of my credit report from annualcreditreport.com, which is now offering free copies of your credit report once a year.

there’s all KINDS of stuff on the credit report, it blows my mind. old credit cards and loans and shit that i’d all but forgotten about. i even found a dillards card with a $400 limit that I never knew was open… i’ll have to look into closing that.

in other news, u2 tour dates were announced recently, and there’s another st. louis show, so i’m going to have to find out when tickets go on sale. i’ve got to go to that somehow, u2 in 2001 was one of the greatest concerts i’ve ever seen. although im sure this year they’re going to be expensive as hell.

right? right? right.